Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Turning Boys into Men: Fighting Society's Emasculation

I love it when people turn to me and tell me how lucky I am to have sons because its so much harder to raise girls. I tend to wonder to myself which century these people happen to inhabit. As far as I can see, everything that boys do and say and think and feel is completely wrong for our modern metrosexual society. The male inclination to be, well male, is seen as a deterrence to social acceptance in the world of the academic and progressive social engineer. It's ironic really, because we are raising a generation of young men to be well, useless and to ignore their normal human biological instinct. Then after we have destroyed our boys' psyche, we as a society, complain that young men have no drive, ambition or raison d'etre.

Our cultural elites (i.e., Hollywood) make fun of those that serve this country, deride anyone who would go into the military as a stupid, war mongering hypermale, while ignoring the reality that without these brave men we would not have the continued freedoms that we do, including the freedom to bash those that keep us free. And to add to the insanity, those women who join the military are seen as iconic figures of a free female, able to do as she pleases, carry a gun, skirmish among the misbegotten and even demand the right to go into the frontlines of battle. So if you are male and want to defend your country you are a misogynist, backwards, hillbilly (which I think is a rather racist stereotype myself) without any real ability to think for yourself, reason and act rationally. But if you are female and want a career in the military you are a hero.

The second tier of the cultural elites decision to destroy the meaning of what it is to be male, is in the school. I have written about the "War on boys" before. But this past year seems to have brought out the stupid in school administrators. Suspending boys for pointing fingers in the shape of a gun, for eating a poptart into the shape of a gun, wanting to play soldier or even carrying a charm of a gun into school has to be the height of bureaucratic mindlessness. To decide that simply because a student sees something that looks like a "gun or weapon" that they or the  entire student body will become puddles of fear and goo, while devolving into a writhing pubescent mass of a neanderthalic  social order is beyond insulting. Apparently to keep our children safe from harm we have to disrespect our children. Deciding that in fact our children are too stupid to think for themselves and to be able to discern a situation as real or fantasy has nothing to do with education and everything to do with bureaucratic control. Yes there have been horrors in schools recently. But knee-jerk reactions to issues is not the way to solve them or prevent them either. Knee-jerk unthinking reactions only hurts the average, unassuming boy who only is being a boy.

This reminds me of a scene from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, where the universal bureaucracy has become so vast that nothing can get done without mountains of paperwork and the paper-pushers have no ability to think beyond the rules and regulations. That they are not able to think for themselves.There are rules and regulations for every waking moment of every day and every rule and regulation has to be followed to the letter of the law. Not one person has the ability to "think out side the box" or to think beyond their little corner of reality.

Honestly we see the bureaucracy in the tentacles of government reaching to control every aspect of our lives, even telling us how to raise our children. Telling us what is acceptable parenting and what is not acceptable parenting. No I am not condoning spanking or corporal punishment, we have always had laws that define right from wrong. But somehow I really do think I know how to set limits and boundaries for my sons without some bureaucrat outlining for me what that actually means. I also don't need some school administrator deciding what future my child is entitled to and what they should or should not study or who they are entitled to become, not simply because they have aspergers syndrome, but also because they are male.

Again this goes back to the idea that boys and girls are different. Their brain chemistry is different. Their neural pathways are different. The way they handle situations are different. But instead of celebrating these differences our modern day society tells our sons that their way is bad, evil and what has destroyed civilization. Meanwhile, everything that boys (or males) have an advantage at, such as STEM, government and feminist groups are trying to co-opt for girls. Now if a girl wants to go into STEM, that is fine, more power to her. But to put limits on boys whether they can go into STEM simply to try to entice girls into those fields is discrimination. Telling boys that the last bastion where they can actually be boys is forbidden to them is societal self-destruction. To not hire boys who excel at STEM simply because they are male is a violation of their civil rights. MrGS is applying for summer internships. Every application wants to know if he is a white male. It seems in this hyper anti-male environment, it is now more important to make sure you have a diverse work force rather than a competent one.

So what are we to do when it comes to raising our sons? It is a conundrum. How do you allow your sons to grow to become men, real men, not some anti-male fourth-wave feminist  idea of what a man is supposed to be. And no, I am not talking about a John Ford, American-western idealized version of a male either. They too never really existed. Well maybe they did, but not the way the movies portrayed them as super human-beings with a fast six-shooter, love in his heart and honor as his code. We need to teach our boys how to become real men, men who take responsibility for their actions, take care of their families and live with the ideal of honor, duty and respect for the world in which they live. We need to raise our boys to become the men everyone complains no longer exists in this next generation. The males, quite frankly that society is trying to destroy.

1: Boys are human, they have their foibles, their issues and their needs. But above all they have wants, desires and hopes like they always did.
2: Adults need to give respect to boys' needs. Stop trying to destroy or denigrate what and who boys/males happen to be. Boys are boys, not girls. There is a biological difference and these differences should be used to help boys not be used as weapon to destroy them.
3: There are ways that boys learn and see the world that is differnt than girls. They need to be taught the way they learn.  They need real male heroes, real male role models and real male support. We need to stop trying to get boys interested in how girls see the world and allow our boys to see the world they way they want to. (By the way, what makes everyone think that girls have a good handle on reality either? Ever sit at the mean-girls table in middle and high school or dealt with the mom who is a bully or that insecure unstable female boss?)
4: Understand that boys are NOT girls and they do not want to be girls and they do not need to be girls. They have an entirely different social parameter than girls. They handle issues differently then girls and they need to be helped the way they need to be helped. Not denigrated for not handling issues like girls do.
5: Boys like to roughhouse, they like football, they like to play soldier, cops and robbers, they like to play at westerns (Yes I know its not politically correct now either because you can't be the American settler or the American army fighting against the native-Americans. By the way, is anyone besides me tired of this politically correct bullshit?). To put it simply-Boys like things that go boom.
6: Boys like guns. Teach them to respect guns, how to handle guns, gun safety. Do not teach boys (or girls for that matter) to be afraid of guns. Guns, whether we like it or not, is the last bastion of self defense for everyone.
7: Teach boys that respect for girls is essential for a good life. That this rap culture of misogyny is no good. That this hook-up culture is morally adrift and only creates  soul-sucking loneliness.(It would be good if we taught our girls the same thing, especially that slut-feminism is anathema to being a real strong woman. I don't really understand how these fourth wave feminists see becoming a whore as empowering. How is throwing your body away empowering for boys or girls?)
7: Help boys be all they can be, by allowing them to be boys. Then we will create a generation of men to be proud of.

Meanwhile, I still remember being upbraided by the hubby when MrGS was a freshman in highschool to stop babying him. "He is going to need to be a man someday. You need to let him grow up." It was an interesting interaction, moreover because at the same time one of my friends relayed the same conversation with her husband about her interactions with their son. Perhaps it has something to do with the onset of puberty and men really taking stock of the fact that their sons are on the verge of manhood. I also think that my boys, and my friend's son, have something that is essential to teach the next generation of boys how to be men, and that is really good fathers or male rolemodels. Responsibilities, expectations, limits, boundaries and above all, no excuses for mistakes. Learning to pick themselves up, fix the errors and live with the consequences is what a man does. So we work with the boys to do just that. Always have and continue it to this day. (Remember too, that with a child on the autism spectrum everything will come in time, just not at the same rate as the rest of society. Smaller steps to accomplish the same goal.)

It is interesting though, that in today's world, the Statists seem to have taken the men out of the equation of support and help. Just ask JULIA. Somewhere the idea that men should be responsible for their families and that the male ideal is to be a good husband and father was lost. The male ideal has been derided and destroyed. Without us paying attention, the social engineers have decided that boys do not need to become real men anymore. That they can create an infantilized version of the male adult and somehow that is a good thing. (Yes, there are some women who really do need help and government assistance. Yes, we should always have a safety net for everyone in society. But at the same time, if society had expected more from their male partners the JULIAs might not need the government's largesse in the first place, or quite frankly think that they do not have to find responsible men when looking for a partner. )

But the biggest irony is that as society accepts the emasculation of our men, all you hear is women complain that there are no good men anymore. Well you get what you ask for. When you push men into a perpetual adolescence by taking from them everything it means to be male, you get what you bargained for. Loneliness and a lack of a lifelong meaningful relationship.

It's time for a little more equilibrium in society. It's time for a little reality and a lot of introspection, especially in the field of education and without a doubt in our culture as a whole.

From War on Women to the Inane "Ban the word Bossy"