Wednesday, March 12, 2014

To All Those Who Think MRGS Shouldn't Have a Para Because of his high IQ and Age

To all those who think MrGS shouldn't have a para, because from somewhere they were imbued with genius knowledge on how I should be raising my children...or they knew someone with autism or have read a book about autism or think they know how life works for everyone on the autism spectrum or think they know what it is to be a parent of a child on the autism spectrum even though they have no children of their own or their children are NT:

Today MrGS was on a commuter train when all service into and out of NYC was suspended due to a building explosion which resulted in debris on the tracks. I received a text from the para telling me what was happening and that he did calm MR GS down and was able to help him process this major hick-up in his world. They are stuck in the Bronx and will now have to find their way into school on the subway from the Bronx. Something MrGS has never done and would not be able to process on his own without help.

This is why we have the para. New and unscheduled issues are part and parcel of MRGS' issues. He needs help processing, circumventing and understanding how to handle these unscheduled parts of reality. Otherwise a confused, overwhelmed extremely anxiety ridden Mr GS could either end up being arrested for public meltdowns, misunderstood stimming or even worse, go missing, wind up dead in an accident (like Avonte) or end up never being found. This is the real world of parenting on the autism spectrum. These are just some of our greatest fears when your child becomes an adult living with an autism spectrum disorder (heck this is a parents' greatest fears in general when parenting on the autism spectrum). I am not willing to let my son be  a statistic to prove some dumbass wrong.

I am glad that we are lucky enough to be able to afford someone as terrific as our para, who is a masters candidate in special education and behavioral interventions on top of being a veteran, who served in the Gulf War. I know my sons are well protected, supported and have the ability to show the world their intelligence while they work on their issues and learn to navigate the neurotypical world. At times we also have to deal with the real possibility that that day may never really happen. But it is our ultimate goal, freedom and independence for our sons. Yet we also know that they have to accomplish this task at their own time, on their own schedule, not according to anyone else's ignorant know-it-all perspectives.

In truth, I am sorry for families that cannot provide for their adult offspring as we can. I know we are truly blessed. Too many of our highly intelligent adult aspergeans do sit unsupported, alone in their world because there are terribly inadequate adult services and we live in a society that doesn't really understand the autism community in general. I hope that in the future we will be able to find a way to support all those who have so much to give to the world but cannot because the societal supports are so grossly nonexistent.

Meanwhile to all those yentas, bitches and assholes, who would have something condescending, self-righteous, know-it-all, pole-up-your-butt-holier-than-thou to say to me about providing the support to my children that we know they need and that we know works: Life once again proves me right. So don't send a comment, don't send me an email, simply read the next line of this post...

Take your ignorance and GO FUCK YOURSELF. Get my drift?

Meanwhile if you want to discuss or learn about autism spectrum disorders (ASD, PDD , aspergers), anxiety (or generalized anxiety disorder), obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), learning disabilities (LD), adhd, add, sensory processing disorder (SPD), language and auditory processing disorders, dyscalcula, speech/language delays, epilepsy (seizure disorders), and/or tourettes (tics) please feel free to leave a respectful comment below. I will be more than happy to answer any and all of your questions. This blog is about educating the populace about what these disorders are and how to help those we love who live with these issues. Remember there is no one size fits all program for anyone who lives with any disability (including physical disabilities). How disabilities manifest themselves is as individual as each individual human being.

HUGE CAVEAT: This blog is also a safe place for families dealing with these issues to congregate. So anyone trying to take from my readers their calm and feeling of security will not be allowed into any of the discussions.


Id, Ego and a Sense of Self