Last night at dinner our conversation revolved around why CM2 does not like interference in his life. Well more specifically, why during their volunteering, when CM1 tries to help his brother with advice or information, does CM2 get angry with him. We tried to explain to CM1 that its not him personally but that his younger brother appears to resent any kind of help and perspective other than his own.
When asked why he rejects anyone's advice no matter how positive or helpful CM2 answered..
"I guess I just came late to that rebellious stage."
I then asked,"If you know you are being rebellious why do you just reject suggestions out of hand and not think about what you are being told is helpful or not?"
For that I got the "talk to the hand" response.
Deciding not to have a full-blown fight and argument at the dinner table, we then turned to CM1 to try to explain to him that there comes a time in people's lives that sometimes they need to learn the hard way. Unfortunately there is this time in the life of a teenager that they decide not to listen to anyone. There is nothing you can really do about that except let them. (Within reason of course.)
CM1 is now, totally insulted that is brother rejects his advice. He sees trying to help CM2 over the glitches of adolescence as his form of caring about him. In truth it is, and the rejection does hurt. But we assured him that it was all well and good, but that right now he needs to only truly worry about himself. That yes, he went through a similar stage at about the same time and he turned out just fine. So will his brother. CM1 insisted that his brother needs to see the behavioralist like he does. For that I agreed and talked to her about starting with CM2 in the fall.
Meanwhile, hubby and I are on top of CM2 watching what he does and how he reacts in class. We do talk to him about how he interacts with people and how he studies. We are not letting his "rebellious" stage go uninterrupted. As hubby told both boys last night, just because the two of you are brilliant doesn't mean that society will accept you. You need to learn how to deal with and interact appropriately with people. You can be brilliant but live your life in our basement if you don't really pay attention to social norms. No one is required to ever have anything to do with you and people generally don't interact with shmucks.
Last night's lecture was prompted by the fact that CM2 yelled at some female students in his summer class. Apparently these girls had the nerve to play Justin Bieber music..I know the horror....apparently CM2 had turned to them and yelled at them to turn that crap off (which they did).....The hubby lecture consisted of CM2 practicing how nicely to tell them that they are being disruptive as everyone else was trying to work. Hubby made CM2 repeat it several times. Honestly its really lucky for CM2 that he is cute and that everyone around him continues to cut him some slack as he learns how to deal with the real world.
The problem with this youngman is that he just is too smart for his own good at times....."rebellious stage" by tuchas...
Still trying to figure out how to deal with the "talk to the hand" reaction....I think this is one for the hubby to figure out. Yeah CM2 did get lectured about it last night during the "Bieber" discussion too....Hubby said never again "talk" to me that way....
So far this morning so good..no "talk to the hand" and no "rebellion" excuses...we will see what happens as the day goes forward...but tonally he definitely has no patience for my existence...thankfully today is pragmatic speech therapy day. Yeah she noticed the tonal issues right away...glad that its really not me being over protective and that I noticed it is something he needs help with.
Until next time,