Saturday, May 19, 2012

Dinner Table Conversation

Well its not really dinner table conversation, its sitting on the couch, eating on table trays, with the TV turned off conversation. We do have a table and chairs to eat at, but for some reason we have gotten into the habit of eating on table trays. Not really sure why. Could be that we are eating late and noone wants to pick themselves up off the couch and sit at the table. Yeah its a bit lazy and quite frankly I don't care at 9PM at night. We eat late.

We wait until the boys' adderall wears off and hubby doesn't really get home from work until that time too. Remember adderall inhibits the appetite, so if they ate earlier they wouldn't really be hungry and would need to eat all over again. Why make two dinners every night? Right? And no don't tell me not to medicate them, go holistic or use oils. No its not diet related either. It's called autism related ADHD  and they need medicine to focus, control impulses and make their lives better, more enjoyable and productive. Yes, I believe in modern medicine for every aspect of the body. Whether its antibiotics for bacterial infections, modern drugs to fight cancer, laparscopic surgery for heart/appendix/spleen surgery (instead of the way all surgeries were done even ten years ago), and psychiatric medicines to help with neurologically based life affecting disabilities. Medicine evolves and so should the attitude towards getting the necessary help and support your child and you many need when any and all issues arise.

Hubby doesn't like that we don't sit at the table. He says it doesn't help with etiquette for the boys. Probably not. The act of sitting down to dinner, with appropriate distance between you and the table, sitting on the chair, how to hold the napkin, etc is a large part of social interaction.  But on the other hand if they are doing some of the same manners and feeling comfortable to talk to each other, I don't see the horrible nature of it. No it is not a perfect situation and YES we should sit at the table, but I am not going to lose sleep over this issue. Well not now. Probably sticking my head in the sand a little bit for the time being, but sometimes you need to not worry about every little issue.

And yes, hubby is right. The major obstacle that the boys face right now is social skills and social interactions. Not as a child but on an adult level. How to behave, talk to and eat as an adult in the business world is a skill we are beginning to work on with both boys. Well, mostly with CM1 since he is much older and has exhibited social issues with the "work paradigm." That is why we have hired the speech therapist and the behavioralist in order to help him learn how to interact on an adult level in the workplace. Hubby also mentioned that in the adult working work being able to go out to lunch and dinner with other people is a skill that is necessary to get ahead. Knowing how to sit at a table and converse with people while not using your shirt to wipe your hands, eat with the proper utensils and chew your food properly is definitely something that needs to be practiced over and over again.

Yeah, my bad and my laziness...but this too shall pass....

Meanwhile our dinner conversation became rather heated last night. As usual one of the boys brought up a rather interesting topic. CM2 wanted to discuss the Establishment Clause and First amendment freedom of religion.  Yes, this is the level of our topics. We don't bring these issues up the boys tend to do just that. Of course, it was a break from the issue of the existence of God, the Presidential election, the economy and the holocaust.

CM2 decided that "separation of church and state" is implied in the Constitution. I told him that it was not, that it was from something Thomas Jefferson wrote. That there was no indication that the foundling fathers thought that we as a nation were to be devoid of religion, just that the government cannot decide that there is a state religion.

Hubby mentioned to him that we are a nation founded on Judeo-Christian ideals and that it is a big part of our history. CM2 refused to listen to anything we said in rebuttal to his thesis. Not surprising as he is 18 years old and knows absolutely everything right now.

CM2 was incensed that we didn't agree with him, so hubby went on the iPad and Googled articles on the topic. (That little tablet is just so handy to have around.) The first article CM2 rejected because he said that it came from a conservative website and that meant it didn't count. So hubby then went on Google again and found an article from a Law related website.

Interestingly CM1 had no opinion on the topic, even though he just finished a class on civil liberties. I suppose he had had enough of the subject for the time being.

It's been 24 hours. So far CM2 has not read the article. He said he would read it eventually. I know it really sucks when your parents are right.

People wonder why I keep a bottle of aspirin in the kitchen....

Until next time,


HERE is the link hubby found.