Thursday, January 26, 2017

Lessons in Anger Management, Behavioral Management, and Social Convention in the Present Political Climate

So you try to teach your child that it is not appropriate to have a meltdown in public. That as they age, there are societal requirements for behavior. That as they age when they are angry they need to learn how to process that anger effectively and channel it into something positive. That social convention stipulates that at a certain age, usually when they get to be adult tall, or reach adolescence, societal expectations are that they are to follow the rules, the law, and the norm.

Now enter present day politics.

What the hell?

We have grownass adults, rioting, setting fire to private property, smashing windows, attacking police officers and creating mayhem because they are not happy about a democratically held election. The ridiculousness of these acts, is that like after the Fergusion riots, there are people trying to compare these jackasses to the Sons of Liberty and the Boston Tea Party.

Well here is the truth:

The SoL did dump tea overboard. The tea was privately owned, but by a government monopoly. They were protesting the tax on tea among other imposed laws, where they had no voice in the matter, and the fact that the tea could only be bought from this monopoly. 

The SoL did not go through the streets of Boston, willy nilly and destroy people's private property. They did not go through the streets of Boston and attack innocent people. The SoL had a plan of action. They attacked, for lack of a better word, the epicenter, and symbol, of a government that did not allow them to vote, to have a say in their daily lives, and took from them their rights as natural born English subjects.

I do not think that the limo owned by a Moslem immigrant that was destroyed during the inaugural had anything to do with the political outcome of the election. The driver, who was injured, did not. The owner of the Starbucks that was trashed, most certainly was only trying to make a living. It's really not like Starbucks has a monopoly on coffee, and you can only buy coffee from there, never mind that the people that work there, who earn minimum wage, may be unemployed until the store is fixed from the damage done. Besides, no one stopped these tempertantrumming anarchists from voting. Like in the Portland riots, just after the election, it was proven that 90% of those arrested DID NOT VOTE.

So who is to blame for the outcome of a democratically held election if you do not exercise your Constitutional right to vote?

In other words, this was simply an excuse for those who have been taught that they are entitled to behave as miscreants to actually act out in inappropriate ways. Yes, there were over 125 arrests. I hope they throw them all in jail for a good long time. Then I hope that the Limo driver, the limo owner, and the Starbucks owner, find out the names of the groups that partook in these actions, and sue them for damages, along with civil rights violations, interference with  commerce, assault and battery, and then the wonderful all encompassing pain and suffering.

I hope the Justice Department goes after these anarchist groups for the civil rights violations of anyone who wanted to watch, walk or go near the Inauguration through the area that was trashed. I hope they charge them with civil rights violations for destroying the livelihood of the Moslem man, and the assault on the Irish driver. Considering the number of police officers hurt, I hope they go after these groups under charges of domestic terrorism.

It is time that society stood up and said enough.

If our autistic children, are required, under pain of expulsion, detention, or some other kind of punishment, to behave in a certain acceptable way, then  others need to be required to do the same. And not simply give the thugs a slap on the wrist.

Yes, I used the words thugs. I am tired of beating around the bush and not being able to say words that aptly describe someone because of political correctness. Thugs are violent, evil people. And simply because you think you have a political cause that enables you to behave inappropriately, doesn't mean you do. You are a thug. In fact, when you use violence in order to try to get your way politically, that is called terrorism. Maybe its time we started using appropriate labels to those that think they can run riot through towns even if they are members of the "Left."

Besides, how do we teach our children, who learn by example, that this rioting behavior is not ok if there are no major consequences to the rioters actions? How do we say, that there isn't two levels of treatment. One for the anarchists, because they claim a political redress, and one for our children, who actually are dealing with developmental delays? Which of the two groups actually should be given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to punishment and lack of comprehension? 

I know that even today, I try to continue to teach my youngmen the right way versus the wrong way to interact with people. I try to teach them the right way and the inappropriate way to channel your grievances and your disappointment. They don't always listen, but there are also consequences when they don't.

Here's another lesson: the Women's March. There was NOT one incident of violence, harm, or breaking the law. I may not have agreed with the march (I thought it was premature, and rather stupid with their pussycat hats and vagina costumes). But there were millions that walked, chanted, sang and interacted on a healthy, socially appropriate level. Now I don't think that swear words, insinuating that the President is incestuous, or that it is ok to call for the destruction of an ally (several of the speakers were known virulent antisemites), is the way to actually be intelligent, but legally they did not a thing wrong. It would have been nice though if they did find a way to clean up after themselves, instead of leaving garbage strewn all over the place, costing taxpayers thousands upon thousands to have to have someone clean up after them. Not illegal, just unthoughtful, and quite frankly not very eco-friendly either.

So you can point to the Women's March as an exhibit of legal, social, and even appropriate anger behavior management. Show your children that there are ways to get your ideas across that are acceptable in society. That group marches can, and do, come off without harm to another person. That large groups of people can come together and kvetch all they want about something that hasn't happened yet. This march was the exercise of the First Amendment in full exhibition.

Listen I know I am being specious. But I have no use for wasted time and effort. In life you have just so much political capital. Choose wisely how you use it. If you complain too much, even people of good conscience, will simply turn you off.

I also think that is a good behavioral management lesson for the boys as well. Pick your battles. Pick what you are going to fight for and work on at the time. You cannot work on every issue you have all at once, no matter what your child's IEP may say. 

Personally, for the special needs community, I think the really big issue right now is the fact that the Department of Education nominee, doesn't know what the IDEA is, and how it is applied to school districts. Now my boys are out of public school, and are not dependent on that piece of legislation. But that doesn't keep me from being concerned for others. 

If we need a march, that is the march we should have, along with letting the Congress know that there are certain aspects of Obamacare that in truth is keeping many of us alive. Moreover, under Obamacare so many of us finally are able to even get healthcare for ourselves or our children. Whether it is the preexisting issue clause, the autism related supports, allowing children up to 26 to stay on your insurance, and stopping lifetime caps of payments, getting rid of these provisions are the things that worry so many of us. I do know that many are also worried about going back to a block grant medicaid program. They believe this will cut funding, since the states will not supplement, and hurt supports for the disabled. Also though, it would be good if they did something about the cost. 

My premiums, which we pay out of pocket, have gone up by 1/3 and we now have to pay Mr.GS1's COBRA as well.  Moreover, because we chose the less expensive model for our son, the deductibles, for his policy are out of bounds. We took a shot that he wouldn't need major surgery, or have major health problems this year. We will see if we chose wisely. I will let you know in  December. (Honestly it was the difference between $500 a month or $1000 a month-I kid you not.) The boy also only makes minimum wage. What is he supposed to do with that first? And the Obamacare policies here in NY are abysmal.

So here are my final thoughts:

We have seen within less than a week, anger management, behavioral management and social convention in actual play. We have seen much of it fail, but at the same time we did see a successful application as well. The lessons are immense for our children.

Depending on their age show them and talk to them about what happened. 

Point out the pluses, the minuses and explain how everything does apply to them. Teach them a better way to behave when you are upset about a political outcome than rioting. Show them that sometimes there is power in large groups coming together.

Use the present political climate, which in truth, none of us can really avoid, to explain how the lessons they are learning today, are actually needed throughout their lives.

Then secretly crack open a bottle of Jack Daniels. I think we are going to need alot of that in the years to come.