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I
am asked over and over what is the hardest thing about raising a child
with special needs. Undoubtedly, the biggest issue is that when you deal
with a person who has an invisible disability, like autism, society can
be very cruel. The world talks a big game about acceptance and respect
for differences, but in the end, “square pegs cannot fit into a round
hole” and society punishes them for their divergence.
Invisible disabilities are
greatly misunderstood. I suppose it’s easy for society to get a handle
on someone with physical limitations. Society has concrete methods in
dealing with access and modifications of surroundings for those unable
to use conventional methods to get around. But when society is
confronted with an able bodied individual, who functions with a
different brain-operating system (autism), society simply shuts down and
shunts them away. Pushes them to the fringes. Out of sight out of mind.
Oh society pats itself on
the back that they have done a tremendous thing allowing persons with
disabilities into their schools, professions or legislates their right
to live in neighborhoods. Yet no one really ever takes the time to try
to understand persons with autism. They do not take the time to
understand the idiosyncrasies of who they are and why they are just this
little side of different. Because “different” scares people. This fear
is then passed on to their children. And, society teaches children to
shun those that are dissimilar. In reality, when someone is a little
different, we keep him or her at arms length and turn them into that
boogeyman from our childhood. The result is to malign, ignore and
alienate those with invisible disabilities. Society ends up seeing only
the disability, forgetting the human being before them. In the end,
society’s disenfranchisement becomes an actualized form of bullying.
