Monday, August 27, 2012

Brave New World and Chimps on Campus

Last night I received an email from the para that he was not able to get to campus today because of a family emergency. I have to tell you there was alot of scrambling on my part...but we came up with a doable plan. The downside is that the boys had to deal with the reality that I, the bane of their existence, will be hanging out on campus among their peers. While they went to their classes alone, I sat in the lounge just a few doors away just in case there was an issue. Didn't really think it would be cool to show up to class with their "mommy." And yes the disability director concurred.

Now if anyone follows my facebook feed they will know that this day has been one of those anthropological adventures that you can find on PBS. Of course those programs mostly revolve around watching chimps or gorillas in their native habit, not sitting next to young adult humans in their environment. Needlesstosay, after much musing about my interactions I have come to the conclusion that the chimps get a bum deal and the college students too much respect. Or these college students think that they are entitled to more respect than they deserve.

I understand that young people have a dialogue of their own. Heck I was young once (believe it or not), but I was never like this. Inane and boring perspective on life. They talk as if they know everything and cynicism is the answer to life. Vile, foul mouths. No decorum and a total lack of awareness of their environment. If this was one of "our children," we would worry that there was something wrong. One girl was even complaining because some of her friends lost their scholarships and had to go to schools closer to home. They decided how unfair that was, without thinking that you lose a scholarship because you don't maintain a 3.0 average. They seemed to blame everyone else for their issues and have basically forgotten why they are really here.

Manners and language are nonexistent, along with tolerance. "The group" was racially and gender mixed, yet somehow they devolved into an antisemitic joke game. While they would never think to say obnoxious and gross things about any race, or other creeds, somehow Jews were an easy target.

Lo and behold they didn't know I was in the room. Luckily it was really easy to stop. I simply said, "Excuse me, watch your mouths."  They were definitely caught unaware. Probably have been saying these things for awhile and noone ever stopped them. They did get very quiet for a little bit and then they changed the subject. I suppose they didn't challenge me simply because I am an adult and they really didn't know what to make of me. At least they stopped for the moment.

Meanwhile, CM1 is sitting across the room from me studying for his LSATs. Another table a group of kids are taking out yugi-yoh cards (CM1 did notice and was interested but went back to studying) and then the "useless group" it seems is having a contest on who can use the most foul language and pretend to devolve. They are trying to get their iPhone 4S's to comply with rude sexual requests....I kid you not. It seems more like high school than college. Honestly I remember even in highschool we were alot more mature than these children.

Perhaps this is what the sociologists mean when they say that our children are going through a delayed adolescence. Perhaps this is why, even though the boys have their social and idiosyncratic quirks they don't stand out as much as I am always afraid that they do. Maybe they are given a pass at times too, because despite some of their social ineptness they are very bright, hard-workers and mostly respectful. Compared to these children my autistic boys are role models of social appropriateness, ethics, morals and respect.

I suppose something can be said for how hard we are on the boys and how we try to drill into them proper behavior and work ethic. I seems to me that with everything that the boys have to deal with, they are leaps and bounds ahead of these children. Good, finally......glad to see all the therapies, the support and time and effort is really paying-off.

Until next time,


Elise