Thursday, April 12, 2012

Dissing the SAHM...

When I was a young girl there was a war on women who chose to stay home and raise their families themselves. You were told that only the brain dead or the ignorant gave up careers and education to stay home and play patty-cake. You were told that you had no worth if you chose to spend your life taking care of your family. You were told that your worth only depended upon the size of the paycheck you brought home.

You would have thought that we were beyond that  in our society. You would think that it had finally been acknowledged that those of us who stayed home to raise our children were just as intelligent, educated and thinking women as those who chose to stay in the workplace. You would think that it would be understood in our society that people make the best choices for their lives and what is important to them. You would think that in our society it would be time that women learned to respect the choices of other women. The irony is that if a man derided a woman for staying home to rise their children we would call him a misogynist. Honestly, I think the same can be said for women who deride other women.

Actually I should not be surprised by this attitude. A few years ago I attended a seminar on transitioning students with autism spectrum disorders from high school into college. We had to let everyone know in the class what brought us to the seminar. I of course told everyone that I was the parent of two boys with ASD. Not one person spoke to me the entire week until on the last day they found out I had a law degree. People literally turned their backs on me and the psychologist in charge made fun of the questions I asked. (They were too simplistic and uninformed for her.) Apparently these "professionals" are very interested in the autism community but have no desire to actually interact with those of us who are raising autistic children. Yet lo and behold, once they found out that I had a law degree well the questions came fast and furious. And yes the majority of people in that seminar were other women including the main lecturer.

I have nothing against women who chose to work outside the home. I do not think it is our "duty" to stay home. I also am intelligent enough to know that most women who do work outside the home do so out of necessity. Honestly no matter which choice you make it has its pitfalls and its issues. I also couldn't even think what would be the situation if I had to work and raise two special needs children.These choices are not easy choices to make. We as women need to respect this reality and support our sisters in which ever situation they find themselves.

But what I want to know from these pundits and "feminists" that deride what I have chosen to do with my life, who do you think you are?  Who are you to deride a life choice and tell us we do nothing? And yes this is about the attack on Anne Romney and the pundit who said she had never worked a day in her life. (PS I don't care who you vote for in the election. This isn't about that.) I do not care that others chastised her for her comments, this is how she and her cadre think. This is how they react to other women.

Or was it her failed attempt to remind everyone that the Romney's have alot of money. Well too bad...the Romney's are filthy stinking rich. Wish it was me. Wish I didn't have to worry how to pay for therapy, college and support systems for the boys. Wish I didn't have to worry about the future and wonder where the money was coming from. Wish I didn't have the freakin' debt that I do.

But what I don't feel is resentment that others like Anne Romney don't have these worries. It also doesn't mean she doesn't understand what it takes to raise a family, run a household and function in society. It just means its easier for her to pay for everything. It also means that by making the choice to stay home, she didn't have to decide what her family will do without. Again wish that was me. That is all.



I am so tired of being told I am nothing. That my contributions are nothing. That I am less of a human being because I was lucky enough to have the ability to make the choice to stay home with my boys. But one thing I will tell you is that I think its time these women who hate on the SAHM get some serious psychotherapy and figure out what their underlying problem really is.

OK..rant over with for now...


Until next time,


Elise