A lot of what we do as parents of special needs children does depend a lot on our attitude. It is our strength that propels everything forward and ensures that our children receive the education and supports that they are entitled to. But attitude is more than an abstract notion of perseverance. Attitude comes from within and it is attached to a much greater part of ourselves than I think we sometimes will accept. Our attitude has a direct bearing upon the tone and tenor of our household. It creates the peace and calm that we strive for in our very existence. Our attitude brings within it a balance that we need. If that attitude is off and if that balance is lopsided there is no harmony and without the harmony in our world, what needs to get done does not get done.
We seek this balance in our lives in many different ways. The truth of the matter is that there is no one perfect way to achieve it. Balance in nature is something that we must find for ourselves. For only we will know when we are balanced. Only we can seek the proper path for only we understand how our hearts reflect the balance at each step along our journey. But when we find it, we will know it, we will feel it and then we will understand ourselves better.
We seek balance to complete ourselves; to understand our own soul. It is no longer about the child or the marriage but it is about finding out who we are as individuals. Balance brings direction and with that direction we will know where to go next and how to seek what will be needed on the next leg of our journey.
Balance, completeness in oneself, increases your willingness to deal with the unexpected and to prepare for the challenges that lay ahead. It provides you the courage that you need to fight the fights we all must face. For we know that there will be challenges. Not just for our children, but for every one of us. When you parent a special needs child it is almost as if you are on a constant journey of discovery about who YOU are and how YOU will discover what you need to continue your quest.
For I think it is a quest of sorts. A quest that we all face in life, but so few actually sees. Our quest is right before us and it is within this journey that we can discover ourselves. It is the discovery of what we can become, the strength of our souls and the level of humanity that we can rise to. But then there is the other path, the lesser, darker path. The one where the world is closed and you find that you are shut off from that part of your soul needed for discovery. For there always are two roads to take at any given point in the journey you can either go to the light or to the dark. If you choose to balance your world you will go to the light and seek to understand and hope for enlightenment. If you seek the dark, and choose to wallow in despair and self-involvement than your balance will never appear. So be very careful when striving along your quest. Keep you attitude pointed to the positive, to the light. But remember too that one step off the path, is not the end. The greatness of humankind is that we are able to turn around and right ourselves. The journey is never ending. The quest is life long. There is always a way back to the light. You just need to have the courage to find the way.
Balance, harmony with nature, harmony within yourself, contentment, an acceptance of the quest that lies before you. Balance of your soul. Perhaps that is the quest that mankind has always been on since time immemorial. To seek harmony within oneself. To seek guidance. To seek enlightenment. To seek comfort. To seek answers when there are none, or when they are just out of your reach.
Truth be told, the world is a strange place sometimes and the quest's road not totally understood. My potted little Meyer lemon tree had no flowers all summer. Once brought inside the house, it is now in full bloom.
Accept that your attitude includes the courage to search for harmony, and balance will come. Balance. Harmony. Comfort. Calmness. Courage. Attitude. Happy November.
Until next time,