Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Politics, Hitchcock and Patience, or Raise Your Damn Hand

 In conjunction with today's @theCoffeeklatch  about what to do when your SN child has typical issues, I am reposting some past blogs.
It is now official highschoolboy is a total piece of work. I got another call from his case manager yesterday. Highschoolboy has been calling out in class without raising his hand. He has been doing this in almost every class and even talking under his breath loud enough so people can hear (even though he says he didn't realize how loud he was, which considering he does have a modulation issue, I believe, for now). I told her I would have a talk with him. The downside is that if he doesn't stop it, the aide is going to sit next to him in class, instead of in the back of the room, and he can really kiss independence goodbye. Luckily highschoolboy was in the car when I got the call. (Don't worry I had the cell on a handsfree device. Never drive and hold a cell phone. For safety sake use a bluetooth earpiece.)
So anyway, I turned to highschoolboy and in a melodious harmonius very caring voice read him the riot act. What was he thinking? He knew better than that. Did he want to have an aide? Did he want to be treated like a small child or did he want to be like the other kids in school? I have to tell you that the elephant in the room of this conversation is the underlying issue of highschoolboy just not being able to understand someone else's political point of view. It's mostly a complete disbelief that anyone could even possibly think the way that they do if its not along the political spectrum that he adheres to. Now we have always told him that in a democracy people can have many opinions and they don't have to be yours. Well sometimes he forgets and I am sure that the recent adult actions from both sides of the political aisle just confounds the daylights out of him. Then I asked what the story was in the other classes. In chemistry he had no answer for not raising his hand and calling out. While in film his under the breath repartay had to do with what he saw as the analytical stupidity of an article they had to read about "Strangers on a Train." (You know that wonderful Hitchcock classic) Highschoolboy figures himself to be the next great filmaker/critic and does not suffer those who disagree with his perceptions about film anymore than he does politics.
Well, low and behold, after our gentle and carefully thoughout conversation, highschoolboy raised his hand and was respectful in his conversations. I basically told him I had better not get a call from school again having to do with behavior. It is not acceptable and he had better act his age. Ok its an old mommalie, but it worked, so there you go. He did say though that he did call out in chemistry but that was what the whole class did and what the teacher asked for. I told him that was not the behavior in question and he can do it if the teacher says its ok.  You know, you give him a rule to live by and then they go and change how to behave in the classroom. Talk about one confused kid! Talk about feeling bad (me) and a little annoyed (alot) at the teachers.
Of course, he does not suffer well those who disagree with him about anything but considering the split second turn around in dealing with the multiple opinions of his history classroom, and film course,  I say we are making huge progress. He has now shown that he can control his impulses appropriately. Good thing for getting rid of the aide, bad thing for highschoolboy if he decides to circumvent the rules again. No cutting him some slack for that one anymore. Time to grow up, society is viewing him as an up and coming young adult. Not really bad for him, especially since we know he can hold his own.
However, I do get confounded by my rule oriented child at times. Sometimes he sticks so to the stark white and black of life and he doesn't give any leeway. But at other times he just goes along in his merry old way, not caring what the future holds or how what he does today can effect his world. I suppose that is the typical teenager in him. I really wish however, that he was more of the type A typical teenager rather than the MTV typical teenager, including the eye rolling, and that all too famous teenage body slump of "my mother is such an idiot."  Oh, Lordy, but talk about the music. Music, music everywhere. That boy even has to wear headphones and listen to his music when he studies. They say its good for them, it helps them study, keeps them focused. I'll let you know when first marking period grades come out. Meanwhile he is raising his hand, behaving and not pulling anymore teenage nonsense. Hasn't skipped a class yet as his case manager warned me would be the next initiation rite into typical teenagehood, I headed that one off at the pass. Ain't gonna happen under penalty of computer loss.
Who would have thunk it. I am actually having typical issues with my aspie teen. Heaven help me. I love it!
Until next time,