Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Fracal Moles, Unanswered Emails, and A Truly Inappropriate Parental Response

In conjunction with today's @theCoffeeklatch  about what to do when your SN child has typical issues, I am reposting some past blogs. 
By now it is well established that highschoolboy is having a difficult academic year in chemistry. Lucky for him he has some very understanding and helpful teachers. In fact the chemistry teacher had offered to come in early the other day to help him with the chemistry math homework. Of course, instead of jumping at the chance, highschoolboy in his very aspie sort of way responded, "I'll consider it." Well I heard of this conversation around 9pm that evening and promptly told him to email the teacher that he would be in her classroom the following morning like he was offered.
Hubby then took highschoolboy as he usually does once a week out to breakfast and got him to school in time for his extra-help session. Unfortunately the teacher does not read emails at night and did not show up at the appointed hour. OK, a lesson for highschoolboy. When the teacher offers you something out of the ordinary say "yes" immediately and set up a time and place. But highschoolboy being highschoolboy decided that the fact that she didn't show up had nothing to do with him.
Well off to his day he goes. He mistakenly went to gym instead of acting, but in a very mature way when he realized he was in the wrong place, without even bothering to change back into street clothes he just picked himself up and ran over to the correct class. Luckily they were in building right next to each other. The acting teacher understood and the day proceeded just fine from there until he got to chemistry.
Now if you remember anything about highschoolboy you might remember that he tends to not let things go very well. When he is annoyed about something, he holds onto the annoyance like it was soddered to him as an appendage. It's the obsessive compulsive part of his personality. In fact he will gladly regale you with information all about his OCD. Yes, it is just one more issue that he is working on in therapy. I think I am going to make a therapy list and as each issue is tackled I will cross it off and when the last one is taken care of we will have a party, but I digress.
Anyway, highschoolboy is now in chemistry. Everything is fine. He didn't say a word to the teacher or to any other adult in the room. He sat down and took out his notebook and homework  just like he was supposed to. The teacher then asked the class if anyone could tell her what a "fractal mole"was. Highschoolboy raised his hand and she called on him. "Well I know that a mole is an animal that can read its emails,"  he responded.
Now we heard this story told in a very nonchalant way over dinner. Highschoolboy said it so matter a factly that it was as if he was recounting a visit to the local Target. I just couldn't contain myself and started to laugh. I saw hubby start to laugh however, he was able to pull himself together but I could not. I quickly picked myself up and out of the room. I then heard collegeman try to explain to his brother that personal questions and problems are only to be talked about before or after class (At least I knew he had been listening to the aide in college). I then tried to go back into the diningroom in order to continue the parental discussion on how this was so not appropriate. But the minute I saw the three of them I burst out laughing. I quickly ran back into the other room. But by this time it just wasn't a simple little laugh. It was now a full blown, tear-streaming, high pitched cackling laugh that takes all of your energy so you end up sitting on the floor because you just can't stand you are laughing so hard, kind of laugh.
Than as I tried to calm down yet again, I hear hubby trying his best to emphasize to highschoolboy how what happened was not good. "Despite mom's hysterical laughter, this was not a good thing.." at that point my laughter got even worse. Collegeman chimed in and congratulated highschoolboy on accomplishing something he never could, and that was to get me to laugh my ass off. I tell you I must have laughed for at least 30 minutes. In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep because everytime I started to drift off I kept thinking of what happened in the chemistry class. Do you know what it's like to be laughing so hard at three in the morning that it prevents you from falling asleep?
So what is the point of this story. Just that sometimes your children in their aspie innocence will do something so not appropriate that it is just too funny.  No, I should not have laughed, and definitely not laughed so long and so hard, but I couldn't help myself. Lord help me, it was the funniest thing I had heard in such a longtime. He was so annoyed at the teacher and told her so in his nonchalant very sarcastic way right in front of the entire class. The truth of the matter is I would have loved to see the faces of the adults in that classroom at the moment that those words came out of his mouth. I am sure they had no idea what to do. I had known  there was an issue in chemistry that day because highschoolboy's case manager called and told me there had been a problem but that it had been resolved. I figured he  had been crying because of a bad grade, I had no idea he had been just so teenage obnoxious.
So after all these years and all these tribulations highschoolboy can still surprise me. I guess that's a good thing. If I had him completely figured out then he wouldn't be growing as a person. But I had better be on my toes. Something tells me that highschoolboy is going to redefine teenagehood for his highschool. I do have to figure out how to see it coming though. I'll let you know what I come up with. Wish me luck.
Oh by the way, he met with the chemistry teacher for extra help this morning before school. Told you, really understanding teachers!
Until next time,