Monday, May 24, 2010

You Know It Never Ends

Note: This blog was written before the issue got resolved. but resolved it has been and is discussed at the end.


You know it never ends. You would think that by now, the highschool would have an idea about what kind of support HSB needs and doesn’t need. Tomorrow is a special program called “Seminar Day.” This is a day where there are guest speakers coming to the school and there are special classes that every student can attend. HSB picked out his seminars last week and is very excited about the one on Zombies. Yes, I have written about his love of zombie mutant killer games before and it hasn’t changed. We had to get the sequel to the original game for his birthday…Yes, he is all boy. But if you ask HSB it has to do with a post apocalyptical world more than the zombies…yeah right.


In the meantime, I get an email from his case manager that he will have no coverage for keynote speakers in the gym and during the huge barbeque on the soccer fields. Considering that HSB doesn’t go to assemblies in the gym because of the noise and the overwhelming sensory issues that are associated with it, I just figured that they assumed that he would spend that time in the resource room doing homework. But no he has to attend the keynote address. It is a requirement for tomorrow.

So he is supposed to go from his class for 15 minutes where he receives his schedule to the gym for a speaker, who by the way is an arch liberal. If you know anything about HSB you know that he is just slightly to the right of Patton and would not suffer that moron from the New York Times very well. (How liberal is this speaker? He thinks the President isn't far left enough) Oh yeah, there will be a scene and this man is known for being self-righteous and condescending. Why the school thinks it’s a good thing to bring in such a polarizing figure is beyond me, but I digress into the political stupidity of our educational system. Why the TA could not accompany HSB into the gym and stay with him and help him emotionally through the speech if he needs to go to the speech is utterly ridiculous. She is with him anyway for the first 15 minutes of school. How hard is that?

Then there is the huge barbeque with the entire school of 1200 students on the field for lunch. How do they think that HSB is going to be able to navigate that without help? Do they not realize that the boy doesn’t go to the lunch room because it is too hard for him to navigate when there are tons of students there eating. That when I send him without a sandwich he goes at 10:30 in the morning to get his food so he can avoid the crowds. That he consistently eats in the resource room so he doesn’t feel inundated with the sights and sounds of everyone and everything happening at once. That they can’t even get him to go to the lounge to eat with other students because it is just too noisy and overwhelming for him?

I just don’t get these people. Oh, and one of the TAs they assigned to him for Seminar Day is the one they just got rid of because she couldn’t handle him in the classroom. How do they think that she is going to handle him in a situation that is unfamiliar to him? Now as I said before, I don’t think this particular TA is a bad person, she is just not right for HSB. I am sure she is great with others, but she cannot help him and doesn’t even know how.

So I sent an email to the school. OK here’s the latest:

I am sorry but this is not acceptable. HSB will not handle the gym keynotes by himself and he will definitely not be able to navigate the bbq alone. He requires support for these activities on a regular day, never mind one with a different schedule and especially where the keynote speaker will just emotionally upset him to no end. He will not do well; most probably meltdown and we will have problems. At this point I will not accept that he is reprimanded in any way shape or form if he is not given the appropriate support that he needs.


This needs to be fixed or I will be forced to keep him home because the school did not provide him the appropriate access to enjoy a special school activity. Please fix this.

You know just when you think that somehow people have gotten a handle on how to help your child they go and do something so unbelievable that it just boggles your mind. Now if HSB was an unknown commodity then I would say, Ok, follow the IEP just as it is and don’t give him help outside the classroom, but knowing the child like they do, you would assume that they would take it one step beyond and realize who he is. Also they just might remember a few things about HSB like his avoidance issues. But even more so, considering that we have had huge problems with him over the last few weeks, including several major meltdowns then you would think they would remember because I literally lived at the school again for awhile. But no it’s like they have conveniently developed short term memory issues and I am just supposed to say, oh ok.

I tell you I have no clue what to do with these people. I feel like camping out and making sure that everything goes ok, but tomorrow collegeman goes in for oral surgery to have all his wisdom teeth removed and even though hubby is going along I thought it might be a good thing if I went with my son as well. That the school can actually make me feel that I can’t go and be there when one of my children is having surgery because the other is not being supported as he needs and as they all know he does need, then I think they should be ashamed of themselves. (Ok they don’t know about the surgery, it’s just the position that they put me in right now, and yes once in awhile I can push the drama button too). Truth is hubby really isn’t good if something doesn’t go well tomorrow in the oral surgeon’s office and I know I will need to take the lead.

I truly am just flabbergasted by these people right now. It is beyond anything that I could have imagined worrying about at this time of year. Right now HSB just got back a test on logarithms and he didn’t just fail, he failed with a big fat huge FAIL. This is what I was worried about, not the fact that he would have to attend a speech by a leftist journalist who is going to make a fool out of my child when he yells at the speaker and he will yell at the speaker. Or the fact that he will not get anything to eat for lunch because the bbq overwhelms him or that some kids who can’t pick on him because he has support will see an opening when HSB is all alone.

RESOLVED: OK, so now I received an email that they will assign a TA for the keynotes and then she asked about lunch and I think that is forthcoming as well. Thank heaven they listen. I know I am lucky where I live, but I can’t believe the anxiety at a time when it’s just so not necessary. Oh and apparently that TA they removed from the video film class does go with him to other classes, so its not her, there really is something about that class or even that particular teacher. Hmmm, makes you think just how much a classroom teacher truly does influence how a child does in school for both autistic and NT children.


Until next time,

Elise