Monday, May 3, 2010

Much Ado About Shakespear or Aspergers and Patience

In response to our discussion on @thecoffeeklatch about social convention I have reposted this blog from July 2009 for your perusal.

So we went to the Shakespeare festival near our home last night. It usually is a good thing. Both boys love the Bard, I am a fanatic and my husband puts up with it because he loves me.

Anyway my older son was very concerned about whether he would like the play and obsessed about it for days. We got him a synopsis of Much Ado About Nothing. He read it. Decided he did not like it, because he has no use for romantic comedies. Actually, it really just embarrasses him. He's trying to figure the "girl" thing out. Anyway, we made an agreement with him that if he didn't want to stay and I and the younger one did, he and dad would go to the car and watch dvds on the entertainment system. OK. Not bad He went fully loaded down with every DVD he owned. Was content even laughed during the first half. I have to admit, it was very well done, and very funny.

Now, lo and behold, the younger son, my "Puck," the self-proclaimed Shakespeare fan, became the problem. He was fine about attending the play the entire time. we discussed it. He never said he didn't want to go. Seemed very happy to go see the play. Then the minute the play started he announced very loudly that he was bored and wanted to leave. We got some looks for that one. Unfortunately you can't leave until the intermission. To make matters worse we were in the front row, and the accustics, terrific for the actors, not so if your aspie son is not happy. Luckily there was some really loud bagpipes when we could correct him. Of course, the bagpipes drove him crazy. The hands went up to the ears. He ended up laying on my lap while I scratched his back. Oh, and being in the front row, the stage lights illuminated everything.

As soon as those intermission lights went on, we ran out of there as fast as our legs could take us, without running over people. We found our way to the car and there ensued a discussion about patience. No yelling, no recrimination, no making him feel bad just "when you do not like something you need to be quiet and wait until there is time to leave".

Then suddenly it seemed that all the years of workng with him came together. Part of the way home, he apologized in a very adult way about his behavior. He actually was concerned that he embarrassed himself with people at the play, interesting because it was nothing we said, nor had public embarrassment been a concern by him before. We let him know that noone there would remember who he was and that he would not see any of them again. No harm no foul. But what a great leap forward. WOW.

No Bard. But much much better.

Until next time,